Gratitud, Agradecimiento

Gratitude
It is what I am feeling. and looking for, wanting to show and share.
I am thankful to be in this space, in this country, in this time. Some I have had an active choice in, some things really do  just happen.We are not always in charge, and it is not necessary to take credit for each and every thing that bumps into us. Neither Victim nor Holy.
I do not see much gratitude in my peers. Dominicans are easy going and happy, but not particularly thankful. Acceptance is rampant. This is not gratitude, they are not thankful. They just put out their hand and if it s filled, or held they are happy, but not grateful. It is a joke that gringos are constantly saying 'I'm sorry', "Please', and 'Thank you'. These are all tied to feeling grateful, acknowledging the process to fill the hand, to hold it, to pull it up. Before coming here, those words were rote. Lip service. I mean them when I say them now but it has no affect on Dominicans to hear this. I am not sure that current society uses or listens to  these words anymore.
I feel something when they are said. While I have no expectation of hearing them, I see the words written overhead when they are not spoken, because I want that other person to feel something inside...  to care about what just transpired, even if it was a simple act. If the small things illicit no feeling, there is nothing but emptiness, waiting for something that never arrives. This has been my experience in trying to forge relationships, here in particular, but elsewhere as well. You have to be present and you have to feel something or this becomes another virtual set up for disappointment. Allowing for more intimate interaction,  moving  forward to connect, and to express... gratitude.
Not the universal emotion I once thought. I am careful to maintain who I am, and I know not to count the times I give and do not receive. It cannot be encouraged or taught by punishment or reward.
Like my supply of Fuck You's, it is not a never ending supply, so limiting my exposure to those empty spaces keeps me in a more expressive realm in which to navigate.
 I remain thankful for the things  around me, the clean air, clean (well mostly) water, the love I receive from the few who know who I am, the simplicity that a rural life brings so readily there is overflow.
Gratitud.