Wives, girlfriends, relationships

I am constantly amazed at people's lack of thought before they open their mouths. I am in the moment but I am cognizant of those around me. Hello, do you know whose house you are in? I suppose it could be an innate quality that gives my fellow man the right to criticize across cultures. It makes one feel superior to be above another sect....and it is rampant among the ex-pats to dis Dominicans...(not to mention the snobbery of the Euro-trash that are critical of everything and everyone that is not their own.) It is hard to remember I am writing about where I live, not the cast of evil characters that inhabit this sweet island! After hearing another tirade of the lack of culture and morals here I began to examine the relationships I have watched change here. It is commonplace for men to have a wife, and one or more girlfriends or novias. This is a known and accepted way of life here, to both men and women. It does not have a socio-economic scale. Rich, poor, handsome, not so handsome, dark-skinned, light, most men have more than one woman in their lives. It is of a discreet nature also. There is a wife, a house, sometimes children, and then there is a girlfriend, sometimes a house, most times children....and they never seem to run into each other. There are no public displays, there are no cat fights. I did see two cat fights here, over Dominican men, both involved ex-pat women! Most wives know who the baby-mammas are, where they live, and sometimes in smaller communities they are cousins, or distant relatives....that is just a geographical thing in these instances, not incest.I have been at social gatherings where the other women's children are included and welcomed by the wives. While this was discussed as amoral, tawdry and just plain wrong from an American perspective, I started thinking about the divorce rate in the US, the primary reasons for the divorce rate(sex, money...) and how many strong relationships I have encountered here in the DR. Dominicans may be more honest about life, about men and women, sex, and how to get along better. Men can keep to their classic behavioral traits(sorry, I cannot put it more bluntly), and women can have lives that do not revolve around jealousy, envy, and self-esteem issues because they cannot keep to what has become an unrealistic expectation of a 'good' relationship. This is coming from a culture that according to many is lacking in education, civility, ability to reason. Well, I am not challenging their innate capacity for not doing alot of things well, like driving for instance, or running a government, but they have a cultural intelligence that makes me jealous sometimes with the ease they navigate difficult emotional issues. I no longer pass judgement , but look to these men and women with respect: they have figured how to be civilized and happy. I cannot turn it around and take on their ways, but I admire it. I give pause when I hear derogatory remarks about Dominicans, and wonder why you would chose to live here if you cannot accept the given lifestyle of the people.